— Beau Willimon (@BeauWillimon) July 28, 2017
Hello, is this Gordon’s Pizza?
No sir, it’s Google Pizza.
I must have dialed a wrong number. Sorry.
No sir, Google bought Gordon’s Pizza last month.
OK. I would like to order a pizza.
Do you want your usual, sir?
My usual? You know me?
According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you
ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni,
mushrooms and meat balls on a thick crust.
OK! That’s what I want …
May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula,
sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten free thin crust?
What? I detest vegetables.
Your cholesterol is not good, sir.
How the hell do you know?
Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical
records. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.
Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetable pizza! I already take
medication for my cholesterol.
Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly. According
to our database, you only purchased a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once,
at Drugsale Network, 4 months ago.
I bought more from another drugstore.
That doesn’t show on your credit card statement.
I paid in cash.
But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.
I have other sources of cash.
That doesn’t show on your last tax return unless you bought them using an
undeclared income source, which is against the law.
I’m sorry, sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of
Enough already! I’m sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp
and all the others. I’m going to an island without internet, cable TV, where
there is no cell phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me.
I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6
Money, Power, Status, and the best connections will not keep your children safe.
A former admissions officer at Phillips Exeter Academy pleaded guilty Friday to a misdemeanor count of sexually abusing a prospective student in 1973.
Arthur Peekel agreed to pay a 1200 fine and a 288 fee , participate in counseling and sex offender evaluation, and register as a sex offender.
Two Choate trustees resign amid fallout from sexual abuse report
Making a nomination for the 2018 NEA National Heritage Fellowships is easy-no Grants.gov, no SF-424. Just visit our website to submit a nomination. The deadline is Thursday, August 3, 2017, 5:30 PM Eastern. Here are the guidelines: https://www.arts.gov/lifetime-honors/nea-national-heritage-fellowships/make-nomination.
Pro-tip: Don’t think you have enough time? There are two steps to the process that give you plenty of time to pull it all together. First, you must submit the nominee’s name/info plus your contact information and nomination letter by August 3rd, 5:30 PM to the NEA website (arts.gov). Then, you will have one week, from August 10 – 17th, to upload additional materials, including support letters, work samples, a more in depth biography, etc. to our applicant portal.
Take a look at the guidelines and if you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to ask.
Folk & Traditional Arts Specialist | Multidisciplinary Arts
National Endowment for the Arts
400 7th Street SW | Washington DC 20506
firstname.lastname@example.org | 202-682-5587 (p) | 202-682-5669 (fax)
Learn more about the arts in your community at arts.gov<http://www.arts.gov>
Alliance for California Traditional Arts (ACTA) now hiring for three different positions:
∙ Digital Media Specialist, Part-Time (Los Angeles)
∙ Arts in Corrections Program Coordinator, Full-Time (Los Angeles)
∙ Arts in Corrections Program Manager, Full-Time (Fresno)
The Digital Media Specialist will be taking over some of my duties as I transition into to a program director role, so will be working closely with me. This is going to be a really cool gig, open to a lot of creativity + growth potential over time.
The other two positions will oversee ACTA’s artist-led workshops in So Cal + Central Valley prisons, respectively. Some of ACTA’s very best work!
The full job descriptions can be accessed at the link below. Please pass on widely! All positions are open until filled. Reach out to Amy Kitchener (akitch – at – actaonline.org) and I with any questions.